My little Pushka pony
by RU771AN
Summary: The same as my fimfiction story:inspired by "my little Dashie" and my friends crazy life, tank driver "Nexus" gets his tank destroyed by a bunch of recruits hes trying to train, after going to hospital. He then returns to find a foal in the gun barrel. We know her as Rarity, to him she is "Pushka pony". *Cannon pony.*
1. Pushka pony

The year is 2010..and a half.  
Every night I get drunk, smashed beyond recognition and unintelligible, I suppose its because I have a drinking problem. Well maybe more than a drinking problem I guess. Depression some people call it but the truth lies deeper than that.  
Truth is, I've lost a lot...I've seen my Grandmother be blasted to pieces in the Moscow bombings, my own Mother too was killed in a traffic accident. By a car.  
I hate car, truth be told I have Amaxophobia which is silly but true. I'm scared of cars, terrified of them in fact.

Almost funny that I'm a tank driver, I go by the name "Nexus",it isn't Russian and was somehow coined to me when my father who is the commander of the tank division that I served in. Saw my talent for driving tanks and apparently said.  
"He's Nexus". Which means a connection, usually where multiple elements meet, as for example spokes at a hub, originally from a Latin verb meaning "connect, bind." Taken from wikipedia after I got interested. After he called me that, the nickname stuck and nobody really called me by my first name anymore...just "Nexus".

Anyway today is a good one. Out in the training grounds for my tank been serving for a few years, thanks to my father of course I am well respected and treated by the officers. Some people ask me why I didnt just get promoted. Well...its because I prefer being a sargent.  
The day started off with me teaching some recruits how to drive a T62. A old 1950s tank that has been put into reserves, you see we dont scrap old tanks. We do something different, we just shove a bigger gun on or a fancy anti tank missle.

Of course the one that I was teaching on today was unfortuantly stocked with live ammouniation.  
So I did the usual thing, let them drive and fail at turning corners. I guessed insantly that they were fanboys and promptly facepalmed. Apparently the US military has the same problem. People who think they are gods and...fail.  
So there I was for most of the day,shouting at a bunch of recruits, one by one from the top of a moving tank turret. And yes I am that skilled.

The last one almost ended up in a ditch, why the hell they even let these morons in always confused me. I frowned and shoved the recruit out.  
"See hows it done". I said smugly and threw the old tank around the training ground, like it was a extension of my body. Like the connection where mutliple elements lead to to...I suppose I live up to my newer name.  
The problem happened when I LET THEM ride the tank while I was moving. One apparently had a live grenade on him for some strange reason and pulled the pin for a joke. Danced arround on the tank body for a few seconds before realising the fuse time. Which is 5-8 seconds.  
The grenade blew up,killing the recruits and sending shrapenal into the turret and hitting the live 115mm rounds.

I was lucky enough to have my head shieled from the grenade. But I knew what was going to happen. You never want to stay in a tank thats about to "cook off". So I opened the drivers hatch and sprinted for my life. It then exploded. I was a good distance away but a piece of the tank itself hit my shoulder blade and I collasped soon afterwards.

A few hours or a day later I believe, I was in hospital. A local one.  
I had already been treated and apparently the the piece that was lodged inside was easy to remove. I suppose I was at a safe distance after all. I allowed a few mintues to work my shoulder blade. Feeling it move up and down, letting it work again.

I was admitted out quickly.  
Those recruits?.Well they died, they paid for thier recklessness with thier lives. They deserved that I think.  
"Stupid...moronic..." I grimaced as I left the hospital. It was a short walk back to the barracks where I lived.  
While I was walking down the moonlit streets(it was nightime). I suddenly realised that I had forgotten something...:Alcohol. I drank it every exceptions. My only hobby, drink alone or drink with friends. Thats all I ever do now..

Anyway, long story short. I got slightly drunk this time, no too drunk that I had to fiddle around with my phone and call fifty random numbers while laughing hysterically in a effort to call one of my fellow sargents to pick me up.  
The streets a few hours ago were dark, but now the only light was either the lamposts or the torch I carried around with me as I made my way back solo.

For a quick detour I had decided to go through the training ground, slip under the barbed wire and then just a few mintues walk, saves time.  
While I was walking in a slightly drunk manner I came by either coincidence or fate:To the T62 that was blown up previously.

So what did I do?.  
Get a little piece of the tank to take home with me of course. I was a bit of a advid collector, loved collecting things in my far and few between spare time.  
The gun barrel was a good place to start, I moved my hand into the wreckage and felt something metal , it was of course a piece of the tank so I shifted it loose and to my surpise the entire barrel of the tank fell off and hit the ground with a clatter. In my partillary drunk state,I blamed the imaginary person or caterpillary standing nex to me.

"Sshhh, they hear you!". I tried to whisper but shouted instead.  
"Mmmmm".  
"What?". Did I just hear something?.  
It came from the barrel of the tank that was connected to the turret. Feeling brave I clambered onto the armoured figthing veichle and shifted both hands into the last remaing piece of the barrel.  
To my horror and then suprise a little animal with purple hair found itself in my hands.  
I started at it with a questionable look on my face, it was a horse baby...a foal?. But with a stubby horn on top of its head and a whiteish-grayish colour to its body.

I was confused.  
I cant remember the rest as the next thing I knew was that I was in bed. Someone must have taken me in or I just somehow found a way back without remembering.

The question then came up. "What the hell was that thing last night?".I said outload.  
Sure enough ,as if to asnwer the "thing or foal" poked its head up from the opposite side of my bed.  
It yawned and then went back to sleep. Of course I couldnt let something like that be in my room. I got out of bed and picked it up, deciding to throw it out of the window.

Thats when I realised that it could have use as a pet. Some weird coloured foal with massive eyes and a horn would be a good pet.  
I needed to name it something.  
It came from a cannon. Cannon is "Pushka".  
And the foal is a pony.  
Together they make "Pushka Pony". Or Pushka for short.

"Heh, my little Puska pony".


	2. a short while afterwards

A little bit later.

I stood up and watched Pushka sleep for a while, she looked...cute. I don't use that word often so calling something cute is rare for me.  
After some thinking with my hand on chin. A conclusion reached me about the question of Pushkas sexuality. The foal had a slightly curved head with a mane that had a purple curve to it. Not to mention the large eyes that I had never seen before on a horse. And then the horn...a horn.

Weird isnt it?. Making a least a conclusion about Pushkas sexuality would be a difficult matter for anyone but me. In a instant I had deduced that Pushka was a female. Quite logical.  
I saw her wake up and those massive eyes opened, I can tell she was young..very young. She wouldn't survive without somebody to look after her.  
First of all...did I want to keep her?. Would she become a pain?. She is pretty bright looking too. I can tell she is going to be intelligent. I know what horses ate..carrots and stuff. I had a few of those lying around so I picked Pushka up and put her on a nearby course my room was a officers one, I couldn't bear to be put with other guys in a room..thats were all of the rumours about rape came from.

Anyway, I gave Pushka some carrots that were lying around on a plate. She looked at them with even wider eyes and eat them pretty quickly.  
Then I realised that she needed a drink for...breakfast?.  
It was breakfast right?.  
I took a look at the time and it was indeed breakfast time. For some strange reason I was feeding my pet before I fed myself. Well she needed a drink so I got a cup and poured some Vodka into it. Before resting it on the plate that Pushka had recently devoured of its took a look at it, those azure eyes of hers somehow taking in everything. To my surprise she couldn't drink it because it was in a cup. I had the answer to that and lifted her head up and poured the drink into her mouth. Pushka slurped the drink down fast enough that I didn't have long to wait.

"Damn this girl is going to be a drinker..like me".I chuckled to myself.  
Well she might have been if she didn't fall asleep afterwards. Well it was a pretty bad place to fall asleep because there was no back to the chair.

For once I decided to save a living creature and scooped her up in my arms before she could fall backwards. I found her sleeping softly, Pushka was pretty soft as my skin felt her.  
She wasn't that big, maybe a foot long. Nothing too much to handle.  
I looked down at the sleeping pony cradled in my arms, as I said before she was cute...adorable even as she slept softly, the occasional little sound coming out of her.

I was going to sell her for money, so I could drink more without trouble but now..well I suppose Im not going to. Trouble is now I have to care for my little Pushka.  
I sighed and put her on the foot of my bed,not a big bed but one that is long enough for me to bring women to and house both of us on the bed.

"Well I suppose I can feed you,maybe take you out for a walk..after all you are my pet", I said to her, still standing up.  
She said nothing and I decided to continue, it eventually turned into a small rant.  
"Ok lets see, Im going to have to hide you every day, somehow feed you and myself, not bring any women in to this bedroom and not let anyone else in either".

A knock on the door stopped me.  
"Nexus you in...NEXUS?". A voice that belonged to one of the people that I drank with and socialised knocked on the door and shouted. It was a rule that nobody ever woke anyone up by not shouting. We had to shout.  
He woke Pushka up but since she was tired, she looked around as if to search for any predators. She only found me and then I swear a small on her face formed, she then fall back to sleep.

I walked over to the door,I was a mess as I hadn't washed myself or anything so I didn't look presentable..not that I ever had to present anything. I took my time in the short walk for the door and noticed that Puskas presence had brightened the place up. All I really had was a bed, a table,two chairs and a bathroom. A cupboard full of stuff and that's it. And now I had a cute little pony too.

I marched to the door and slammed it open but made sure that it didn't expose Pushka, my friend wasn't too surprised at my violent way of opening the door. It was a common trait in these parts.

"So,what am I being woken up for?". I lied but kept a relaxed and tired face on.  
"Oh right,well Nexus you have the day off...because".He seemed to run out of things to say.  
"Because?" I fold my arms and try to continue the short conversation.  
"Because...you have...uhh, sustained a injury...BYE!".

"Well that went way". I said out loud before thinking.  
What should I do for the day?.  
"Maybe...I could take Pushka out for a walk"


	3. two days later

Two days later...

I suppose taking little Pushka out for a walk was a good idea...if it hadn't been snowing. We usually only get snow later in the year. Only part of Pushka that could be seen was her head and upper body. Rest of her was covered in snow as she had to jump to clear it. Little hoof marks were made and the occasional body slam.

This pony is going to be one hell of tough thing to keep when she grows up.  
Anyway when we were walking through the snow together, Pushka was somehow always at my side. Like I was the only thing in the world that mattered...strange indeed.

But that concludes the walk, nothing special happened except for the fact that I had to teach her to how to talk. Almost as bad as the damn fan boys.

Well today was the day that I got back to my military activities, also the first day that I had left Pushka alone. I remember seeing the look on her face as she realised that I wasn't going to be with her. I remember her mewling and..crying? As I left. Does she view me as her parent?. I swear if she somehow learns to speak and call me "dad" I will flip out. My name is Nexus, not dad and not the name I was born with either...just Nexus.

"Nexus drive forward!"  
"Nexus avoid that hill!"  
"Nexus drive backwards".  
"Nexus we are firing the gun now, don't hurt yourself!".  
That's what my day consisted of, given orders and obeying them like a good little tank driving Nexus.

Thank logic that its the evening now as I stagger back to my room,begin to open my quarters door and breath heavily before entering.  
"Pushka?".I say my pets name and open the door,walk inside and flop on the bed. All within the space of two seconds.

"Mi mi mi mi mi".I hear Pushka squeal from somewhere as she jumps on my flat and lying down body.  
"Uhgg, your getting heavy you know".I groan and open my eyes.  
Standing or rather sitting in front of me is Pushka...who was grown recently.  
"Have you been drinking my Vod...HOW MANY BOTTLES DID YOU HAVE?".  
I stop mid sentence and then horrifying look at the empty Vodka bottles strewn across the place.

Apparently Pushka likes alcohol...apparently it makes her grow too.  
"Maybe I should offer you as a test subject and put you on adverts eh?".I joke as I lift my little Pushka up and give her a quick cuddle. The joy in her face becomes apparent as she tries to wrap her hoofs around me, failing but still cutely trying.

"Mi mi mi mi". She grows warm and falls asleep on me, content I think to be with her..."owner".  
Yes owner,not father..I am her owner.  
I mean I care about Pushka, but in a pet loving kind of way. Because being a family with a pony?. That's just weird I guess.  
Pushka moves while she sleeps, this times she rolls off my and hits the bed sheets with a thump.  
*Thump*

She starts to cry real tears now. I never knew a pet could cry?. Her eyes tear up and her lips tremble. This is incredible but...I don't like seeing my little Pushka upset. I think about what to do for a moment as she continues to wail. The waterworks began to stain the bed sheets.

Dammit!.What should I do?.  
I give myself the answer as seemingly on instinct my hands reach out for her and I pick the little pony up. I cradle her like a...parent holding their child. She looks at me, starts to smile. I smile back.

She no longer crys as I give her the most loving hug I have ever given anyone or anything for my entire life.


	4. unfortaunte wording

**THREE MONTHS LATER...**

_Military training exercises: Otherwise known as a boring waste of time. I find them to be pointless and a good excuse for the officers to order people about. This particular exercise I was currently driving my beloved T80UD around in was a "friendly competition" between the various tank units in the Division. The only reason why my tank is not knocked out with a 125mm paint round is because the best man in the best crew gets a prize._

This prize got my attention:20 BOTTLES OF VODKA were to be awarded and when I heard, well I just made sure that I would bother.

"DRIVER GET YOUR FOOT IN GEAR, THERES A T90 AIMING AT US ACROSS THE ROAD".My commander shouts at me and I kick the tank in the fastest gear. I look around a find a deserted house...and drive into it. A second later the paint round from the "enemy" T90 hits the space where we were a few seconds ago.

Naturally it has been said that I have amazing fast reactions,many people comment on that and I didn't prove them wrong this time as I continue driving through the house, bits of concrete and other stuff falling on the T80UD like rain.

"Driver, engage that T90".The commander orders, he somehow expects me to find that T90 and ram it to death. Fucking idiot,I remember saying that the armed forces are being swarmed by fan boys, this is one of them.

Anyway I exit the house and burst through a hedge that somehow survived the harsh winter, but it didn't survive a 40+ton tank with Nexus driving through it.

I ignore my commanders useless ranting as I open the hatch and survey the landscape with my own eyes. Before me is a paint ball match with tanks...stupid way to go but I'm winning that Vodka.  
I continue to glance at the blasted scenery.  
"NEXUS YOUR GOING THE WRONG WAY".The rookie fan boy screams like a little girl, I can hear his little voice crack.  
"Shut up fool and let me do my fucking job".I say back and he shut up.

I stop the tank and breath heavily, then debate on where to go.  
Should I engage the forces duking it out on the plains below or search for that T90?.

My answer is cut by the appearance of the T90, my commander whimpers.  
I can see its gun barrel point, the 125mm shell being loaded.  
I never give it the chance to get a hit. Throwing the tank into third gear before flanking to the right, I avoid the shell by inches and my gunner reacts fast enough to fire his own shell into the T90.  
The round goes true and soon a red paint mark is present on the "enemy" tanks turret.

"Good job Nexus". The gunner says and I allow myself a brief smile.  
The past months have gone quickly, There are talks about promotion for me.  
But I don't care, my little Pushka is with me.  
She is the only thing I really care about, hell even my alcohol obsession is weaker. Every time I come back from a hard day she greets me by hugging my leg or squeaking excitingly.  
We sleep together now, I wear a shirt and shorts anyway as she cuddles up to me like I am the only thing that protects her from danger...cute is it not?.

My secret weapon then kicks into sense and I recoil back from my thinking and throw the T80 forwards just as a another T90 fires. The metallic shape of a 125mm round ejects out of the gun barrel in a plump of super heated smoke.  
It misses as my T80 leaps down from the ridge that we were fighting on.  
Seeing that the slope obstructs us from the T90s view, I then turn the engine off and wait.

"Gunner,load a shell". I whisper quietly into the crew intercommunication set.  
"Da loaded but I dont have a good aim, suggest we move backwards a little bit". Comes the reply.

This is where it gets tricky,I can turn the engine on and risk detection or...I can put the brakes off.  
I go with the latter and turn the brakes off.  
The tank tracks slowly retract down the hill and the wheels squeak quietly  
as we pick up speed.

Soon we hit the bottom off the ridge and I hit the brakes as the tank comes to a sudden stop.

Just in time as the T90 crests the ridge, it then thunders down quickly before the driver slams on the brakes having noticed my T80UD sitting on the bottom of the ridge,barrel pre aimed and waiting for it , he brakes too quickly and it flips over comically.  
I then close the drivers hatch for good measure and to protect my ears as the huge cannon above me roars.

I see a massive pillar of smoke eject before a red hot paint round slams into the overturned T90 and "kills it".

My secret weapon is sixth sense that allows me to react before something happens. This happens again and I get a sudden feeling of being fired upon by several tanks.  
Aware that this would happen in a few seconds I turn on the engine again. It kicks into place with a massive roar and we are off again.

My sixth sense was right again as a pair of T72s appear, they fire and miss like all the others.  
Now going to 50+kph I twist and turn to disrupt their aim. The first one fires in front and misses, a column of mud bracketing the area around it.

The second just rockets past, how these fools passed basic training is beyond me.  
"Ready to fire".My gunner reports and I slam on the brakes, the ground comes closer as the tank rears up and then settles. Little more than a second later our own shells "kills" the nearest T72.

The second wiggles its turret from some strange reasons, ironically it somehow manges to miss a stationary target.  
My gunner punishes them with a select piece of paint filled 125mm justice.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We lost eventually as we got surrounded by something like ten of them. I think that was because my cry baby of a commander refused to help. I slugged him in the face when I realised what he did and after we got out of the tank.

I think he's still in hospital.  
"Fucking idiot fucking idiot fucking idiot".I repeat to myself over and over again as I walk down the long winding corridor that leads to my own quarters. I look forward to seeing Pushka again.

I open my door and Pushka meets me as usual, happy to see me and her mane in a curl?.  
That s new I think, and its a purplish colour too. Wow she really likes to decorate now, ever since I got her a little sewing machines she's been making her own little clothes to wear. Cute I think.

Anyway we do the usual hugging as I bend down and peck her in the cheek.  
I sense something, looking at her mouth I begin to observe that she is about to say her first word.  
That's when she says something...something I've always hated.  
"Daddy".


	5. heart attack

**One year later...**  
Pushka is no longer a foal. She is a filly now I believe, I think I sped up her development process through the use of Vodka. The year is 2011, I have been promoted to the most senior NCO rank,a senior warrant officer. I will soon be a officer due to my high reputation and standing position in the division.

A year ago Pushka called me the word which I most dreaded. That word is "daddy". I taught her to speak both Russian and English, she speaks English better than I can. We have also moved off site to a good house in the middle of the city. From there she can move around and not be cooped up all day.  
The "daddy" situation at first made me angry, I was going to hit her like I hit everyone...but something stopped me when I saw the look in her eyes. She truly believed that I was her father. Hitting her would make her run away, so I didn't. I began to believe it aswell.  
I am now Pushkas father. She is my daughter. At first I tried to avoid that fact but now I am fine with it.  
Pushka has also found her skill in life, she likes fashion and I got her a sewing machine. Thats what she does most of the time. Sew sew sew and make clothes. Brilliant mind I must say.

**Two months later.**

She used her magic for the first time. I didnt know what the hell she was doing until I got back from a parade with a few alcohol bottles. I was slightly drunk when I opened the front door and marched inside.  
"Your drunk". Was the first thing she said to me. Nice isnt it?.  
"No...".I answered back.  
"This isnt anywhere near my limit". I continued. It was true though, apparently my limit is something like 32 bottles in one night of heavy drinking. I rarely get a hangover too because alcohol is permanently in my system.  
When I started to drink,she looked at me in a disapproaving manner as the lovely liquid flowing into my systems and "topping" off my current levels. Pushka used her magic to grasp the bottle out of my hands.  
I swore under my breath and reached for another one.

She giggled promptly and then moved them all out of reach. I gave up.  
"You dont like me drinking do you?". Defeated I admitted.

"No, its make you look terrible, your blue eyes go thin and I can see so much pain in your expression when you drink. I just don't like to see you this way Dad". Pushka replied in her high class English accent, she looked pretty depressed when she said it.

I have to admit she's right, when I look in the mirror normally, I see a shaved headed man with lines on his face, he doesn't laugh much either and his blue eyes are of the coldest blue imaginable.  
I see scars on my face from numerous fights and splinters, it isn't a nice thing to look at.  
I am possibly the worst father in the world but that wont mean I will not try to raise my daughter up to a respectable standard.  
But she sees me as something else,Pushka sees me as her father,the first thing she ever laid eyes and for that reason I will try to be the best I can be.

"I suppose your right, what's on the television". I suggest and change the mood of the conversation.  
She tips her head and thinks for a moment, her brilliant mind taking apart the possible programs on and deducing everything. My daughter is indeed a veritable genius.

"How about total wipeout?".

u]**2012**  
I was promoted to captain a year later, I was in charge of several hundred men now since we had a large lack of officers,I may have been a captain but I ended up doing a colonels job of managing an entire battalion of tanks.

At least Pushka was at my side the entire way, thanks to her I started to look better, I drank less and less. The lines of my face began to fade away, the pair of eyes that unnerved people so much had life thrown into them and I grew hair for once when I refused to have my head shaven.

Life seemed better in the military too, I took artillery training,gunner training,emergency loader training and in a year I was a tank commander in charge of a battalion. All they had to do was to promote me to colonel.

And then life went downhill...


	6. my pushka

A/N. For any of you are wondering. I know the guy known as "Nexus", from here on (13th August) this fic will be no longer be based on his life. And yes, everything that happened is true...  
I also aplogise for the short length of the chapters so far. The next ones are going to be at least 20% cooler too!.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**13th August 2012.**

I walked down the long shifting corridor that led to my current destination, I passed numbered rooms where tests were being carried out on armour and gun penetration.  
"Captain". A pair of off duty Sargent's saluted as I walked passed.

I walk extremely fast, its been noted by many that in a sprinting race, all I have to do is to walk to win. In this case, the pair of Sargent's thought I was out of ear shot when they started talking.

"Did you hear about Captain Nexus?". One of them started the conversation off, trying to whisper by holding a hand of his mouth. I presume they were looking at me.  
"No". The second one replied.  
"He's stopped drinking". I could hear something like glass breaking on the floor, I guess the second one had been carrying a glass bottle.  
"Wow".  
"That's right, I haven't seen such a dangerous guy in a tank before".

That was true, I am starting to get slightly unstable now. I think Pushka regards getting me off alcohol as a bad experiment.

Anyway I continued into the medical section of the sprawling complex that consisted off numerous barracks, tank depots and other places that I never bothered to visit.  
This medical check was a routine one. I have to admit that the stress of managing to many men in one job, looking after a daughter and trying to remain sane with any alcohol was starting to get to me.

It was difficult to focus on one thing for more than a few minutes, after that I would start to develop a twitch that lasted for hours on end.  
I sat down on one of the chairs available and gestured to a waiting nurse, told her who I was etc.  
"The medical team will be with you soon". She said, smiled partly and then disappeared into a doorway that I never knew existed.

"Soon".Was in fact a hour long wait, I sat there and twiddled my thumbs so to say. By then I had gotten a nervous twitch in my eye which flickered so much it was difficult to see properly.  
"The team will see you now captain".The same nurse called out and pointed at a doorway that was familiar for once. It was the place where I first discovered...well officially at least that I am prone to extreme anger and violence. Good job I never told Pushka about that.

I stood up and stretched a little, letting my body out of the sitting position it had been in for some time.  
I began to walk down the corridor that led to the medical place.  
Inside I found about six people there, all with stern expressions.  
"Lie down".The first one said.

The last thing I remembered was a mask being placed on my head and the world went black as a gas filled my lungs.

**Three hours later.**

I woke up some time later, I felt like a chainsaw had just split me in half. Knowing the reputation of these people,they might have just done that.

As soon as I checked my head was screwed on propely, I looked down my body to see that my uniform was still on. Although my cap and medals were sitting on a table. Standing over me was one of those "doctors" with a clip board. Seeing that I was awake. He prepared to say something.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?". He asked, not concerned or anything about how I could take this. Like a typical Russian I suppose.

As always I wanted the bad news, made the good news sound better than it was usually.  
"Ill have the bad news first". I replied, not bothering to check that the doctor was eyeing me.

"Well I don't know how to say this Captain".  
"Say it".  
"You are going to die".  
"Yeah I kind of know, I am in the military after all".  
"No...not be a bullet, or a loved one that hates your gut. Not even if you are crushed by one of your own beloved tanks. I am sure of it Captain Nexus, I am sure that the thing that will kill you. Slowly and painfully, is yourself...13rd August 2022, that s when your heart will fail...I'm sorry".

"What s the good news then".  
"You will be able to continue you duties until the day the die, and here the paper work along with any other information".

With that I left, broken spirits slightly.  
Of course I wasn't bothered by my imminent death.  
It was the fact that really, where would my little Pushka go?.

**Night time streets.**

I walked home for once. Didn't take the bus, I would usually use a bike or jog from job to home. And of course taking a car was out of the equation. I still have my fear of cars to be fair.  
The city where I lived, or at least the outskirts were usually quiet and devoid of life at this time. The drunks would be in the pubs now and the general public would be at home. This was a perfect chance to gather my thoughts.

"I am going to die". Came to mind, that's all I had left in me. 10 years.  
A heart problem:Even my dad who died this year after attaining some age beyond 50 never had a problem with his heart. Neither did anyone in my family's long history ever have a heart problem.  
I must be the first. Its probably fates way of saying "fuck you".  
I am not going to tell Pushka about this though, she would be better off not knowing. Ill dump these papers in my room and leave them there for ever.

"Hey look guys,its a "Captain" on patrol". A rough voice that sounded like a typical Moscow teenager broke my chain of thought. I spun round on my heels and faced directly into a gang of teenagers.  
"What the hell do you idiots want?". I growled, in daytime or light my facial reaction when I get annoyed is enough to kill.  
Unfortunately it doesn't work at night.

"We would like you to dump your uniform and give us your wallet...please". The ringleader of the group crackled and so did his little group of followers.  
They did not impress me.  
"Make me". I remarked and cracked my knuckles, the sound of bone on muscle echoed.  
"Fine, if we have to batter you to death then so be it". The ringleader chuckled as the entire gang (including himself) launched themselves at me.

This pathetic attempt did not impress.  
The first one that met my fist was hammered six times in a row until I head butted him and broke something in his thick skull.  
I killed that one.

The second jumped on my back and tried to lock my arms.  
I used the back of my skull as a "backwards headbut" and broke his nose, he ran away crying with blood down his face.  
He survived.  
The third and fourth decided to get smart and attacked from the left to me, and to the front.  
The one of the let was greeted by the hardest punch I had ever thrown. The moment my knuckles connected was his ribcage, something inside of the barstard snapped.  
I wasnt finished as I stomped on his ribs, I think they were broken as I felt something mushy pop.  
I killed him.

The fourth hang back as the ringleader joined the fight.  
The "leader" tried to 1v1 me, he came close using some kind of karate style fighting. Hand chopping the air and some kind of fancy punch. In response to this sillyness I kicked him in the face and watched as my heavy boot connected with a eye, the metal rim went straight through and piereced his skull.  
I killed the ringleader.

The last and fifth was soon reducded to a dead hulk within seconds.

2016.  
When I look back at the killing, I sometimes think to myself if it influenced fate.  
Four years on and six to go, I was at least promoted to colonel of my own battalion of tanks.  
We had the new model, the T-99 which had entered service before schedule.  
Living with Pushka was better, we went out most nights and enjoyed ourselves. She was a lot bigger now. Maybe up to my cheast in hight.

Pushka loved the sights of Russia, the Kremlin and the snowy Siberia where we live was a fantastic place to look at. Whens it not freezing deathly cold of course.  
Now I think about it, what did influence fate?.

A few evenings later, I had gotten back from my job, unlocked the keys as usual to find that there was no excited Pushka to greet me. The house was dark and felt like something was missing.  
Even the atmosphere in my home knew that.

I did start to panic but the logical side told me that she could be sleeping.  
So I went upstairs to her bedroom, it was the same room that greeted me as it did this morning when I woke her up like the typical teenager.

Problem was, she was gone.  
I checked the bathroom, nothing there.  
I checked the other rooms of the house. Nothing there.  
I checked my bedroom.  
All I saw was a few papers lying about and a newspaper article about a murder a few years back...

WAIT.  
The papers were about my death. She must have seen them.  
The newspaper was about my murder of that gang. She must have worked that out too.  
She thinks Im a murderer, she thinks...I dont know.

My daughter is gone.  
My Pushka is gone.  
I didnt believe it at first. I checked the garden, I check the phone history. I checked everything and still she was nowhere to be found.  
I cried for the first time in my life, I never cried. I sat down and cried, cried like a parent who just lost their only child.

I rang my rich friend. I told him to get the travel schedule going.

For the next three years I was all over the world trying to find her. I never stopped looking, I didnt eat much either in my quest to find her.  
For three long years I left no stone unturned.  
I never found her.  
Never.

"Daddy do you like my clothes".  
Yes I love them.  
"Daddy why do you drink?".  
Because daddy needs to drink, he needs it to be happy.  
"Daddy do you love me?".  
Of course I love you, you are everything I have.

"Daddy will you ever leave?".  
As long as I breath Pushka I will be here for you.  
"Daddy I really think that you should stop drinking, and you scare me sometimes".  
Wait.  
"Daddy, are you always sad?"  
"Daddy why cant you ever spend a day with me?".  
"Daddy I dont like to be on my own".  
"Daddy arnt there any others of my kind of play with?".  
"Daddy, why are you always so angry?".

Pushka come back.  
Come back.  
Please...

Its August 12th 2022.  
Six years since Pushka left.  
I am a dark and unforgiving man now.  
We are going to start a offensive against China tomorrow.  
I swear tomorrow looks familiar?.


	7. road rage

___When I look at myself in the mirror now, I see a man who was once happy and has now had that happenings sucked out of him. The pain has caused this once bright man to be full of hate for everything that lives._

I see a man who can only feel pain, a man who finds more than a few hours of sleep difficult to archive.  
This man I am look at everyday when I get up has numerous bloody scars all over him, one eyes is always bloodshot while the other is permanently encased in a never ending twitch. I see the rage plastered on his face, I see a man who has seen war for what it is. I see a man who has killed hundreds and thinks nothing about it.  
I see arms and legs full of muscle that will never grow old.  
I see decorations and medals that he was awarded.

I see a man who finds it painful to think, painful to sit down a rest. I see a man who has lost everything. I see a man whose family is dead and his daughter forever gone.  
I see myself in that mirror.

I see death and it stares right at me.  
I see a colonel of a armoured battalion staring back, and I see that he is ready.

**Central Military District  
Siberian front.  
5th Guards Separate Tank Brigade  
1st T99 Battalion.  
Forward operating point.  
Colonel "Nexus".  
August 13th 2022.  
01:23.  
2mins to zero hour.  
Operation "Iron Maiden"**

ACT ONE."Preparations "

I had finished preparations for our gigantic offensive into China.  
For a few years now we have been at war with China, it has consisted of various minor skirmishes. Only the occasional offensive. We have built a huge army ready to change that. In one single campaign the aim is to raise our enemy to the ground.

The attack is going to consist of over a million soldiers, thousands of tanks, helicopters, aircraft spread out over a gigantic 200mile wide front. Half a million artillery pieces will sound the beginning of operation rolling thunder.

My division is going to secure the forward edges of the battle zone by using massive transport aircraft and take Beijing itself in preparation for a giant squadron of bombers to level the place.  
We are going to destroy China itself, burn its cities and annihilate its ability to function as a country and government.

I check my watch and see that the time is 01:24, one minute till the attack begins.  
I enter the massive rear loading ramp of the transport aircraft that will take me, my tank and several others into the battle.

Its a Antov225, a decade ago we had only one in service, now we have hundreads of them flying about. Advances in factory output has allowed the Russian war machine to rise back to cold war levels of manpower, we have the largest tank fleet in the world. 3.4million enlisted.  
We are going to crush China in a single blow.

The loading door closes and I hear the An225s engines begin to power up, sirens wail outside and I glance at my watch.  
Its 01:25. Operation Rolling Thunder has began. I look outside and see millions of missiles and artillery shells light up the skies, sleek dart shapes that I presume are fighter aircraft follow behind, ready to secure the airspace.

Now we are up in the air, I go forward into the cockpit and look out one of the larger windows. Below me is a incredible sight. Millions of black dots line the ground below.  
The biggest offensive in military history has begun. And I'm part of it.  
**A few hours later**

"An225 squadron "Big Fish", approaching target zone. We are 10mintues out". The lead pilot who sat infront of me reported as he flicked switches and did what pilots do.

"Roger that, however fighters have not cleared the airspace as planned, artillery saturation has rendered most of enemy anti aircraft emplacements destroyed. But be on the look out for any missiles or flak that will come your way Big Fish".

"Da, we will air drop as planned Big fish out". The pilot responded and cut off the communication link. He fiddled around with the flight stick in front of him as he corrected the transports heading and height.  
I didn't bother to understand what he was doing, not much point really.  
"How far are we out?". I asked since getting prepared to drop would take time.  
"A few minutes".The pilot reported by checking his watch and consulting with a time piece.

I nodded to him and walked out of the cockpit. My intention was to prepare for the ten thousand foot drop.  
A few minutes later I was sitting in the turret of my personal T-99, my tank was the furthest forward into the aircraft. Behind was two more T-99s, both were part of my battalion command.  
One thing that bothered me was that most of the experienced crews in my battalion had been transferred to help with the massive reformation of the Russian armed forces.

Expansion from a million under arms into four million was massive, the ratio of veteran crews and personal like myself who had been serving for a long time was dangerously stretched thin.  
At least I knew I would be alright, being one of the longest serving combat officers meant I was granted with a lot of freedom.  
Like where I was heading too.

"Colonel there's a call coming in from General Strakista, its marked urgent".My gunner who was busy doing something or other outside poked his head in the hatch and reported.  
I instantly reached for my phone and took the call.

"General cant you see I'm busy preparing for the drop?".I bluntly remarked.  
"That's its Colonel, we don't need more men when the Chinese are beaten in this sector. I have told you pilot to cancel the drop". Did this mean I was going to kept out of the fight?.

"Where am I needed then General?". I confidently said, they couldn't just let one of the best commanders sit out could they?  
"Twenty Chinese divisions are pulling back to the main base in Shanghai, we have forces pursuing them but I need a unit to block the main road".

"On it General".  
This was going to be the biggest fight of my life...twenty Chinese divisions is more than a million.  
One battalion versus the crushing horde of a million.  
I begin to talk to various company commanders and brief them on the situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**ACT TWO: Madness.**  
"Attention all crews, we are commencing drop in ONE minute. Get the tanks roped down and secured".

"Da, tank 103 is ready".  
"Affirmative 545 prepared and waiting".  
The two other tank commanders reported in as we all strapped down into harness made specially for the operation so when we hit the tank we wouldn't be turned to mashed potatoes.  
I was sitting in the turret of my T-99 when the red light came on from the transports inner fuselage.  
I could see it by craning my head vertically and because I hadn't closed the hatch yet.

"30seconds till drop, doors opening". A artificial voice reported and I heard the metallic sound of the rear doors at the back of the AN-225 being opened.  
"Its fucking snowing outside".  
"In the middle of China?, what the fuck is wrong with the fucking weather?".  
"I don't know, this entire country is fucked up".  
I listened to the conversation that my driver and gunner were having, it is normal to swear a lot when you are going into combat.

Or maybe they just liked swearing a lot, I don't know really.  
For what seemed like the thousandth time, I flicked switches on the control panel in front of me.  
Infared targeting was enabled, automatic gun stabilisation when firing on the move was switched on with hundreds of other things that made the T-99 into such a deadly tank.

"Ten seconds till drop, loading ramp fully extended".The last words of the "AI" spoke and we were being moved backwards into position. I guess the first tank to be dropped out was probably hanging out the plane right now.

"9 seconds". I counted.  
"5seconds". I closed the hatch and put my distinctive American baseball cap on.  
"First tank away, second loaded into position". I heard the lading T-99 rocket off the transport.  
Thats all I could hear except for the heavy snow falling on the fuselage. And the battle going on down below.

Even thousands of feet up in the air I could hear surface to air missiles strike my battalions transport planes, they crash into a section and blow it away,leaving the transports falling to earth and its cargo being scattered in the air like toys.

"Second tank away, third loading into position". The same process repeats with the second tank, it rockets off the loading ramp and falls into the air.  
I can feel my own tank being moved, a strange feeling when you are used the movement of tanks.

"Launch in three,two,one, zero".  
At first nothing happens.  
But then the feeling of quick movement hits me and I grip the nearest object as the tank slides backwards. I guess my T-99 was thrown out of the plane by now.  
I heard a sharp click as my tank came clear of the plane. We were now in the hands of mother nature..

"All units launched,proceed to RTB". I heard the nearby radio call of my transport as it headed back to base.  
I begin to feel the effect of the G-forces as I tumble faster and faster into thin air.  
"Gunner?". I call out to the man sitting a metre away from me in the turret, the massive 125mm cannon and its autoloader separates us.  
"Da colonel?". I see him straining to form words as more G"s are piled on.  
"What height are we?". I ask, hoping to get a answer since for some strange reason they never installed it on my position, but the gunner knows apparently.

"Two thousand feet sir".  
Oh...SHIT. We were going to land on the floor soon and with no parachute...  
"Driver deploy parachutes and prepare the suspension for a hard landing,gunner get the cannon stabilised for a shock and weapon systems ready, brace for electromagnetic shielding and get the radio up". I didn't panic and issued a stream of orders, two replies came and they both acknowledged my orders.  
Fucking good job they did.

On August 13th,2022. At 07:34 in the morning, we land in the middle of my battalion of tanks.  
At 07:45 we are in positions at the end of a cross road.  
At 07:56 we make contact with over a million men and women, along with thousands of armoured vehicles and tanks of the Peoples Republic of China.

* * *

**ACT THREE."Tread heads".**  
"Chinese Type90s on the left, Company Dmitri engage".  
"Armoured personnel carriers with supporting anti teams coming on the sixth road, someone get there and mow the fuckers down".

Ive been shouting orders for the past hour now,been ordering dozens of tanks to their positions.  
With every defensive order I spit out, twenty tanks fall back and avoid a artillery strike.  
I see a horde of oncoming tanks and I say something, a few seconds later a hundred barrels spit death and clutter the roads with hulking steel wrecks.

When enemy units are in range the following happens:.  
"GUNNER!, seven degrees, range 3041metres". I issue a command, the gunner programs a shell for the autoloader to use and we fire a few seconds later.  
Every-time the 125mm smoothbore cannons, it leaves a massive plume of smoke before the red hot shell hits a target.

Its like a fucking video game sometimes.

"Colonel Nexus?".I hear a communication channel being switched in my headphones.  
"Yes General?". I recognise the voice of my commander officer and react.  
"Satellite images are showing some disturbing images around you position...,Colonel be advised we have a fresh new armoured division moving up behind you. We have MI-28s engaging at the moment but they wont be enough".

"We wont last long against those odds General". I bluntly say.  
"Reinforcements are a few hours out and Spetsnaz teams have secured most of the Chinese nuclear facility's,if you fail then Plan "Dead Mans Hand", will have to be carried out".

I hear the click of the channel cut off.  
We are already engaged with more than enough Chinese here. Looks like I need to commit all my reserves and myself into beating back this new division.  
"Driver,get me the fuck off this patch of ground and proceed to point 8-2,gunner you better get that fucking autoloader ready or we are all fucking dead".I say more orders and we soon rumble towards the Chinese tank division with a couple of reserve units in tow.  
"Look at them helicopters go!". A voice from a unknown crew member in the division exclaims and I open the tank hatch, raise my chair and see a the current battle raging on.

"This is red moon we are ARGGHHHHHHHHHH".  
"My wingman's just got hit, is anyone there to cover me?".  
"THERES MILLIONS OF THESE FUCKERS, GET ME SUPPORT NOW!".  
"This is the fourth company, third platoon commander speaking. We are out of ammunition. We will go down fighting, fuck these weird looking bastards".

The radio traffic is clogged with screams and shouts, the noise of men desperate not to die and the cold commands of others trying to regain order.  
Its snowing and only the thermal optics allows me to see the targets in front.

I spot a group of Chinese Type99s, they seem to be in a state of shock that prevents them from getting a shot off.  
My gunner fires a round, it misses and hits the ground, it produces a massive splurge of mud and snow that covers everything a few metres in all directions.  
Fortunately the rest of the tanks I had bought with me soon dispatch the group of tanks.  
Their might cannons firing in beautiful synchronisation.  
Its almost painful to watch as the two sides duke it out, tanks move into position at over fifty miles per hour, .move again.  
And I'm in the middle of it.

"Driver, ram that tank ahead". In the middle of chaos of armoured warriors clashing against each other.  
My fifteenth tank kill was by smashing into a lone Chinese tank with the tracks blown off.  
Its tastes the might of Russia as we plow into it, our much heavier frontal armour and bigger weight allows my T-99 to roll it over, we then literally roll over it and turn the tank into a pile of scrap metal.

We then move to engage another tank  
"Gunner left centre".  
"Da".  
He sends another shell that flies into the dead centre of the enemy tank, it plunges through the side turret armour and hits the ammunition.  
It then explodes, sending the turret hundreds of metres in the air.

The next target followd the same rountine.  
And the next.  
And the next.  
The entire process of blowing tanks up was getting repetitive.


	8. last man standing

___During world war two, the same battalion that I command now was cut off during the German Invasion. Outnumbered and out gunned the battalion fought till they were all dead. They paid a heavy price and the Germans suffered appalling casualties._

A few hours later and history is repeating itself.  
When I order my gunner to fire, I destroy a Chinese tank. But there are thousands of these things that my battalion is fighting. And there are thousands more coming. Our reinforcements are being delayed as the Chinese throw human waves at them.

My air supports is being mauled by anti aircraft batteries.  
I watch as a helicopter gunship fires a anti tank missile at a Type95, it destroys the tank instantly but it is being targeted by Chinese Surface to Air missiles.  
Frantically the pilot discharges counter measures intended to lower the heat and radar signature. He is too late as a missile slams into the cockpit and decapitates him before turning the helicopter into a fireball.

I shield my eyes as it explodes, a red ball of fire in the middle of a white snowy environment.  
Even in the afternoon it is still snowing.  
"Colonel we are running low on Armour piercing rounds". My gunner reports as he discharges another shot into a enemy tank.

I say nothing as I get a vision of a shell hitting the turret and penetrating. The shell is going to come from the left in six seconds.  
"Driver turn left now". I order.  
Sure enough the shell hits our front armour instead of the side and bounces off.  
This occurrence has been happening for a while now.

"This is tank 403, we are cut off and surrounded on highway 666, we are going down fighting". I have been hearing stuff like this all day.  
I only have twenty tanks left out of hundreds, we have enacted a heavy toll on the Chinese but we will fail our objective. The enemy will get to Shanghai unless Plan "B" is deployed.

"Gunner, 20 degrees, fire". I order, spotting a moving target.  
A second later we destroy it completely, another hulking piece of burning metal dots the horizon.

The Chinese retaliate and destroy the tank next to mine.  
The shot penetrates the engine compartment and the tank sets on fire, burning the crew as they struggle to get out.  
A second later the T-99 explodes. I have nineteen tanks left and exhausted crews.

"Infantry are trying to disable our tracks, keep a watch out we ARGHHHHHH!". The radio cuts off as yet another tank explodes, this time by Chinese infantry.  
I get out of the turret and man a 12.7mm machine gun.

Gripping the handle and pulling the trigger, I enact revenge and move the fuckers down.

They die quickly, I then look to the left and see a vast armada of new armoured divisions approaching us. Thousands of tanks fire on the move, most of them miss but the volley of shots reduce my remaining force to about six.

We cannot win at this rate. Grudgingly I get on the radio and call the General. My hands sweat despite the cold.  
"General, I have failed". I bluntly say as soon as he picks up.  
"Roger that, Dead Mans Hand will soon be operational. You will not die in vain colonel". He replies, I swear he relents for a moment but then the radio cuts off.

I need to say something to my men.  
"This is your colonel speaking, we have failed our task. But we will win this war, remember no surrender". I speak a short sentence.

Then we get penetrated.  
The red hot shells hits the turret armour,plunges through the multiple layers of protection then explodes inside the turret.

The gunners head is pulped like a pumpkin as razor sharp fragments destroy him.  
I swear the driver screamed a death scream before he was decimated by the front exploding.  
Its just me now, in a wreck of a tank.  
My gunners dead.  
My drivers dead.  
The amour is penetrated.  
The autoloader has been destroyed.  
There are still shells left and the gun is working fine.  
I am not going down so easily.

30 seconds later I had loaded a shell in and found my first target by looking through the thermal sights. Its signature matches a Type-99.  
I pull the trigger and the gun roars, the black blast deafens me as the shell casing flies out of the back of the turret and the shell hits its target. Melting the tank and roasting the crew.

My hands grip the next shell, its not heavy but the weight is enough to make me strain as I load it into the gun.  
I finish quickly in fifteen seconds and swivel the turret round. Since the electrical system has been jammed I am forced to hand crank it. I find another target and destroy it with the push of a button.

"Operation Dead Mans hand is now in action, I repeat operation Dead Mans is operational. All units retreat". The still working radio reports.  
A few seconds later and the world turns black. I feel my body become a flaming torch as I fight the blackness and clamber out of the turret, my clothes on fire as the tank blows up.

"Dead Mans hand" is a electro magnetic pulse that disables anything electrical.  
That's when I realise that its not snowing.  
There are no tanks or destroyed helicopters.  
There's fuckloads of Chinese.  
This new place looks weird, and cartoony, where the fuck am I?


	9. I am Nexus

A/N: Final chapter guys, thanks for reading.  
Read this chapter to yourself.

**Date:August 13th 2012.  
Location:Unknown.  
Time: 15:04.**

_"Colonel Nexus put up a terrific fight with the remains of his battalion on the 13th August 2012 against overwhelming enemy forces. He later went missing, however we believe we is dead as his body and those of several Chinese soldiers went missing, only the burnt out remains of his tank and a few pieces of burnt clothing was recovered.".  
"I believe he never found peace, someone as inhuman as Nexus will never find peace".  
"Nexus never dies, he's just missing in action".  
"Daddy will you be there forever for me?, I don't want to be alone"._

When I hear your voice,its seems like your there, sitting beside me.  
When I look at that picture of you, I cry for hours on end.  
Please don't go. I cant live without you.  
Please I love you too much to see you go on your own.  
Please stay with me. Forever in my heart.  
Please...don't die.

Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there.  
I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow together.  
I am the diamonds that glint on snow.  
I am the sun that brings life to all.  
I am the gentle autumn rain.  
I am the quiet birds that slowly sing a song.  
I am the soft star shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry.  
I am not there. I did not die.

I am Nexus and I am the connection to multiple elements.

Just a few minutes ago I was fighting in China. My battalion was getting overrun, the situation was desperate so I called in a EMP to stop the Chinese from reaching their main base. The death I can figure was in the millions as the device exploded and took out all electrical systems.

It destroyed my tank, set me in fire.  
I clambered out and smothered the flames before falling on the ground, still burning. Desperately I tried to save myself as I rolled around in the snow.  
A few minutes later and there was no more snow and I was no longer burning. I stared at my broken body and found it still worked.  
I was in a another world, just me and some Chinese soldiers hell bent on killing.  
I don't go down easily.

I crawled on the ground, I couldn't stand up since the pain was unbearable. I think I had broken a kneecap or something. My face was covered in mud and the veins on my body were a bright blue tingling with red as I bled more blood that appeared on the ground around me.  
I was in pain when the Chinese attacked me.

A pair of them came over and prodded me, hoping to see if I was alive.  
I feel a the barrel of a gun being jammed into my back, I let out a small yelp of pain.  
They realise I am alive.  
I hear a gunshot and a bullet hits my thigh, I feel agonizing pain as the shrapnel destroys that part of my body.

I was going to die by the hands of these bastards.  
And then I felt a familiar sensation flowing through my veins and reigniting my dead muscles. I feel strong again. They shoot me again and destroy my other kneecap.  
I didn't feel it as I got up much to the soldiers amazement.

I stand on both of my shattered legs and look down on the two men. I am much taller.  
I feel no emotions nor pain as I grip my hands on their throats and strangle them to death.

Their eyes pop as their final moments come...and go.  
I say nothing because I cant, my jaw has been bruised enough and burnt too much for me to ever speak a single word again.  
I then let go of them and watch as their lifeless body's crumple to the ground.

I barley have time to evaluate my strange surroundings before another Chinese leaps on my back and holds my neck in place with a sharp knife. I realise he is trying to choke to death,like what I did to his comrades a few brief seconds ago.  
_"Daddy"._

I ready my shoulders but relax, luring him into a false sense of security.  
At first I use my head to crack his nose as I throw it backwards, then I turn round and shoulder barge him before throwing a punch that breaks his jaw line.  
He is still standing but releases his knife, I pick it up before it hits the ground and slam the metal blade into his ribcage and it penetrates his heart.  
_"Daddy where are you?"_

Something is calling, a voice I know. But I haven't heard it for years. I want to reply but I cant.  
Then I hear footsteps as what seems to be a unending horde of the enemy attacks me.  
With my knife in one hand and a fist readied in the other, I leap at the attacker.

We clash and throw fists at each other, I keep my knife away as I wait for the moment to strike.  
He attacks with a backwards kick and I just avoid it as I sense the move.  
I grab his outstretched leg and twist it, he yelps in pain.  
As the moment to strike appears I launch myself onto the soldier and we grapple on the floor. He is strong as he tries to resist. But I am stronger as I push the knife deeper and deeper into his defensive guard until it rests in his throat.

I let the dead Chinaman flop to the floor, I am bleeding from the gunshots. Pretty heavily. I wont last for long.  
_"Daddy answer me"._  
Once again I open my mouth,once again nothing comes out.  
I get the fleeting sense of a thrown butchers knife hitting me in the back and piercing my lungs.  
I move out of the way just in time as a large knife that is used to cut open large animals is thrown in my previous direction.

The object in question completely decapitates a tree and makes it fall over, the trunk of it having been sliced open like a person being cut open by a chainsaw.  
That almost happened to me.

I turned round as I heard a twig snap.  
Standing before me was a massive winged creature with a beak.  
I didnt have anyway idea on how to engage. It was too big for me as it towered several feet above me. It started walking towards me.

It flaps its massive wings and the shockwaves throw me in the ground, I start to bled heavier now as the adrenaline has disappeared.  
It stares at me, it is going to kill me. Quickly hopefully. I close my eyes and assume my fate.

"Stop whatever you are doing in the name of Princess Celestia!" A female voice, accompanied by what sounds like swords being rattled enters my ears.  
I open my eyes and see something that really says I should be on drugs.  
A chariot pulled by two winged ponies at first,I look around as there are more winged ponies everywhere, they wear gruff expressions and a kind of body armour.  
The strangest of all is that a much bigger pony stands in front of me, this one is the female I heard. She has wings like the "armoured ponies" but a horn like Pushka.  
Pushka?.

"I have a rough idea on who you are". She says in a royal kind of voice, I guess this one is pony royalty. Since I cant talk I have to point to my mouth and use basic signing.  
"So you cant talk huh?". She replies before casting a spell on that horn of hers.  
I am engulfed by a large blue light.I guess I was teleported. Or at least something like that as I ended up in a massive empty hallway.  
The royal pony is still there with me, strangely enough her guards have disappeared.  
I still cant speak.  
"The look of your jaw indicates that you cant speak, Ill fix it for you". She says and casts another spell, this one of red light as it swirls around me and fixes my jaw. I feel it and it feels fine.

"Thanks". I mutter.  
"Welcome". Comes the reply.  
"So what am I doing here?". I ask.  
"Well, I teleported you, because I thought it was "time".  
"Time for what?".  
"Its the 13th August, what's so morbid about today, what did you learn ten years ago?". She has me stumped as I try to figure out WHAT exactly happened ten years ago.  
Wait...

The medical report. The heart, the papers strewn everywhere in my bedroom when Pushka left. I'm going to die today aren't I?  
"My heart will stop right?". I answer her quickly and without fear.  
"Indeed, but I suppose someone wants to say their goodbyes to you".

At first I don't know what she means, then as a large door at the end of the hallway opens slowly I begin to realise who it is.  
"Pushka, but I thought she was gone". I feel a little tear in my eye as I begin to remember what happened that fateful day as I came home and found she was gone forever, I remember the pain engulfing me and my frantic efforts to find her.

"Yes I took her". The royal pony admits.  
"Why?". I ask the ultimate question. I see that I have her stumped. And then she smiles again. The door hasn't opened fully yet. So I guess she has time for one more answer.

"Because I saw what state she was in, I know you were trying to do your best but leaving your offspring alone for hours on end, drinking too much and coming home drunk is not the best thing you could do. I also realised that you were going to die, Rarity does not know I'm afraid about that".

I guess Rarity is Pushkas new name.  
The door opens and she appears with five other similar ponies in weight in size. She looks much older then before and carriers a certain grace about her"Daddy?". I see her eyes light up as she continues trotting towards me.  
"Yeah ,you expecting someone else?". I joke for the first time in years as we meet in the middle. Her friends watch as I bend down and hug her.  
"I missed you so much". I remark and feel tears coming out.  
"I missed you too daddy". Comes the response and I let her go.

"So this..."human" ere" is ya father"One of the friends speaks with a American country accent, I suppose she is saying what they all think.  
"Yes, didn't you know he found me in the barrel of a tank...I swear I have told you this hundreds of times".Pushka deadpans.

"How have you been getting on Pushka?". I ask, content to know what she's been doing.  
"Pushka...first time I've heard that in ages". She whispers to me.  
"They call you Rarity now, a good name. You indeed a Rarity in life Pushka". I smile for the first time in ages, she smiles back. The wonderful smile that I always came home to.  
I missed that for so long and now its right infront of me.

"Will you be here now?, with me?". She asks the question that I've been dreading. She doesn't know about the paper and my condition.  
For some strange reason I always keep that paper on me, although I haven't read it in years.  
I feel nervous as I pull the paper out of a burnt pocket, surprising it isn't burnt or damaged in anyway.

I hand it to her and she reads it..

10 minutes later and I was on my deathbed. Well to be exact I was dying on the floor. So "deathfloor".

I could see the pained expression in Pushkas eyes, Princess Celestia and the other five ponies were busy trying to calm Pushka down as she cried and cried and cried.  
She was really crying for me, and for herself.

I hug her tightly for the last time.  
"Daddy don't go...don't go...please just don't go, I've missed you so much. Every night I cry out for you to come back.". She wails again and I stroke her head.  
"Shhh, listen Pushka, you have been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. No matter what happens Daddy will be there for you. Just remember to look in the right places". I grin and smile, she does the same.

I let her go and slump back down on to the floor.  
I can feel my heart beat slower as my reactions slow, first I can no longer see nor hear.  
The feeling of touch goes soon too, but I know my Pushka is with me.  
A few seconds later my heart stops and I die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
**I am dead and yet alive at the same time.**  
**I feel like I am trapped yet free.**  
**I begin to realise where I am.**  
**I am the elements of harmony.**  
**I am the connection to multiple elements.**  
**I was once known by the name Nexus.**  
**I am now Nexus.**  
**I will always be here for Pushka whenever she needs me.**  
**I am Nexus.**


End file.
